“Misery Acquaints us with Strange Bed-fellows”

For a couple of days, I can’t help but wonder, how strange human mind is. As I write this blog today, I’m constantly reminded of Miss Austen’s and later, Miss Christie’s remark…I will lead you on to it, slowly… It happens that my little canvas (which I call my life) is dotted with quite a few people. I am not one of those who boast of knowing a large circle of people, and are capable of making useful connections. Yet that doesn’t deter me from possessing an interesting mixture of characters in my canvas. I wouldn’t declare to be very adroit in the study of human characters, yet I could safely say that observing random people is one of my hobbies-one which never ceases to amuse me. Consequently, my limited canvas provides me with a rich resource to my hobby, speckled as it is, with varied characters. It is here that the remark of those literary greats comes to my mind. Both of them had said how a small community provides an attractive hunting ground for the study of diverse natured people; and what I observed and concluded today, after careful study of a particular character (many other interesting specimens can wait, to be perused later) will form the subject of my random thoughts today (and I know sadly, will occupy a cosy little place in my mind for quite a few days, following).

For obvious privacy reasons, and to avoid being the subject of a brawl, I’m not naming the person about whom I’m writing today. Yet, the person has to be addressed by certain pointers. So let’s decide. We first fix the gender-it is inevitably male, for I haven’t had the good fortune yet to come across such atypical characteristics in a woman before, and I’m pretty sure, won’t come across one in the near-future. So it’s a “he”, but he should have a name, right? How about the clichéd “Mr. X”? It also renders a whiff of mystery to his personality (Mr. X, where ever you are, you should be thankful to me for making you seem mysterious-young women, I’m told, find a mysterious man extremely attractive…). So the ritual of naming is over, let’s begin with the analysis.

Now, to aid you with forming the exact picture of Mr. X in your mind, I will have to describe his looks. Yet, I’m not going to give an exact sketch, for I wouldn’t want people to recognise him and then go and bug him. See, I wouldn’t like to intrude on someone’s privacy! That’s unethical! Anyway, Mr. X is the conventional handsome young man, and so good is his looks, that (silly) young women trip over when they see him, and profess to be head-over-heels in love with him at the first sight. Thrilling though it sounds, Mr. X, incidentally looks down upon all this with extreme disdain, and with disapproving, crossed eye-brows, flings his head high up in the air, pinches his nose as if he were smelling something foul, and with long strides walks past the gushing females. He has his own pleasures though-chiefly among them, is looking down upon people and giving them the impression that he is way better as far as looks, qualifications, manners, knowledge, smartness, tastes and upbringing goes. It is during these moments of self-appraisal and realization that he is truly divine and above these lesser mortals, that a faint trace of a beautiful smile-subtle yet elegant-passes from his lips. It is indeed a treat to watch him chance upon that smile of his, and through this blog, I would also urge all of you, not to rob the suave Mr. X of his tiny moment of epiphany and happiness, and continue with your follies in front of him-my observations tell me, nothing amuses our flamboyant Mr. X more than to regard the behaviour of lesser mortals with amusement, as they talk to their friends, read, study, brood, eat, drink, smoke. It is only by our stupid, uncouth, daily actions that we can keep our genteel Mr. X entertained, and that, I promise you, would be more important and relevant than serving our society.

Mr. X has sophistication oozing out from every atom of his divine body. So we should only kindly grant him this understanding that even after sitting in the same room for months on end, often sharing the same table, and taking part in the same conversations, during which the names of the lesser mortals are often pronounced, Mr. X cannot remember the names of the unpolished mob. It is only just, that he should not deem it necessary to cloud his superior mind with those mundane and unimportant names. It is equally understandable that he deftly chooses to ignore a (otherwise fair) young maiden in public transport and should rest his perfectly sculpted body on a comfortable seat, while that lesser intellect-laden woman should stand uncomfortably in the over-crowded bus. Yet, what intrigues me more than all these superior qualities of Mr. X is his tactful way of both being in a conversation and outside it. As mentioned before, he engages himself in the engrossing act of observing people’s follies; yet sometimes, he also intrudes (good-naturedly, of course) into their conversations, dropping a line to show how utterly foolish their words were, and how utterly tactless their actions. If you have ever been a subject to this chiding, then you would know how fortunate you are, for not everyone has the good luck of being bestowed with Mr. X’s gracious presence (even if it is for a few minutes) and being the subject of his taciturn remark.

My recent observations reveal that after searching nearly the entire women’s world for that perfect female whom he could entrust his heart with, and nearly declaring himself failed in the effort (for the first time in his life, mind you, had our cultivated Mr. X been so close to failure), Mr. X is finally in love. I have an irrepressible urge to see that fair young maiden, for, prior to his meeting her, Mr. X had written off the entire woman race as empty-headed creatures. Even now, except for his lady-love, whom I can sense that he treasures as a real gem, his notion about the woman-race remains pretty much unchanged. I can imagine her to be petite, dainty, svelte, submissive, intelligent, wraith-like- just the sort that would be right for our Mr. X. I offer my heartiest congratulations to the couple.

I consider it to be my extreme good fortune to have known someone of Mr. X’s stature, and his personality alone makes my otherwise mundane canvas look so brilliant. Currently, I’m trying to soak as much of Mr. X’s essence as I can, and his brilliance and divinity, for it will be short-lived. My sources tell me that Mr. X will be forsaking our circles before long, for his attention is required in other fields more important, and our frivolity is only making him waste his time. I wish him the best of luck and joy with his more pressing ventures, and hope that he knows that there will be a hoard of lesser mortals who will miss him sorely after his departure, and ever ready to welcome him, if he so much as thinks, of coming back.

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~ by Samraghni Bonnerjee on December 6, 2009.

2 Responses to ““Misery Acquaints us with Strange Bed-fellows””

  1. So, finally Godot came back — and thought about THE X MAN!

  2. first things first.i freely confess that i was stumped to see this sort of writing outside the covers of a wodehouse novel! you are simply marvellous!
    it’s been too long since i actually came across someone(whom i actually know)who i could sincerely congratulate for being a terrific writer,but then,i haven’t ever enjoyed reading a blogpost so much.
    though the thing which instantly appeals to me is the coy sarcasm,which i am a great fan of,and frankly,which takes a decidedly sharp mind to make such dextrous use of.kudos to you!!
    eagerly looking forward to more of your character dissections..

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